At a dark time in my life, I received a warning to change my attitude …
One Sunday afternoon, in my Zürich apartment, I was sitting on my bed, lost in my thoughts. I was not particularly busy or anything, when suddenly I felt an air pressure change. It is difficult to describe but it is like you feel a subtle air pressure change but you also know that nothing is happening in this dimension but something is occurring in another (subtle) dimension.
“Oh, oh! something is happening!” I thought to myself.
“There is a message for you. Do you want it?”, my Angels said.
That was weird, because when my Angels want to tell me something, they tell me! They are not asking for my permission first. If I am on the toilet, and they have something to tell me, they just tell me. I am sure that, on some level, they respect my privacy and they make sure to catch me at the right moment, but they never ask my permission before telling me the things they have to say.
So I was a bit confused.
“Is it dangerous?”, I asked.
“No! It is just a choice! Do you want the message or not?”
“Well, this is new!”, I thought. Let’s see what is all about.
In my mind’s eye I saw like a soap bubble making its way towards me from the living-room, passing in the corridor and to my bedroom, it accelerated and burst into my left ear.
“Be very careful to yourself! Stop immediately what your are doing. We are concerned about you! Consider yourself warned!”
Taken aback: I had heard the message with my outside ears not from the inside like I normally do.
They were not frightening, but my heart was beating faster. “They” were concerned about me, I understood, and I had received a warning.
“But a warning of what?”, I wondered. A kind of danger?
Suddenly, I had a vision of a car accident. I was walking down the streets and a car came crashing into me. I could see myself in the hospital, badly injured. I felt like something, to that effect, was brewing. In the near future, my physical body would get hurt in a kind of accident, like a car accident or something similar. And somehow, I would be directly responsible for making it happened.
I didn’t understand. What was this all about?
“What do you do that is dangerous at the moment? That is negative and that would attract negative stuff in return to you?”, the Angels asked me.
“The feud!”, I immediately thought.
You see at this time of my life I was embroiled in a feud with my former PhD advisor, a professor in Germany.
To keep the story short, let’s just say that, we had disagreed on a scientific publication and without asking for my permission he had publish my data in a paper without my name as a co-author. In turn, I had lodged a formal complain to the editor of the scientific journal. And then things got really nasty afterwards.
During my PhD, I tried really hard to have a good relationship with this professor but it was really impossible. He acted like a despot, a tyrant, would never listen to my opinions, my ideas. It was always: “you do as I say or you get fired”. And when you are trying to get your PhD title, you have your hands tied, at least, it is/was the case in Germany. He would always get enraged when things didn’t get his way, screaming and stomping his feet like a little kid, menacing me, and my fellow PhDs, with getting fired or worse …
The situation was really bad back then and I kinda got the impression that me working with him was the result of some past-lives / karma – healing thing. But knowing that didn’t help much. I was so relieved when I moved to Zurich for my post-doc. It felt so good to be freed from him, as he was not my boss anymore, but now, with this last scientific paper, he was again back into my life trying to control me and menacing me. I couldn’t take it anymore and decided to defend my rights, hence the official complaint to the editor and the nasty aftermath that ensued.
The professor told my boss and my future boss that I had disrespected him, which is a big deal in Germany, and it got me an admonition from both of them. The professor also tried to get me fired from my post-doc position. He was speaking bad about me to anyone who would listen, especially other potential colleagues of mine and I was worried this would put a stop to my scientific future.
Nasty emails were sent, nasty phone calls were made …
I didn’t like him before but now I was clearly hating him, like I never hated someone like this in my entire life.
In fact for the last weeks I was fantasizing about his death. An accident. A heart failure! He was old this kind of things happen all the time. Maybe an unknown, deadly allergy? Or a car accident? He was cycling to work, it could happen. A new virus, that had just been discovered. Hadn’t he lived enough? Wasn’t it is time to go? Sure his family would miss him but, hey, he is old.
I received reminders from my Angels that he was a good person at heart, that his soul was pure. He was a good father, I was told; which may possibly be true but I couldn’t picture it. A good husband, his wife had said. A great scientist, some people claimed, admiring his achievements. But no! I wanted him dead. I was thinking about different ways for him to die or be killed. It had become quite an obsession.
“Do you understand now the warning you received?”, asked my Angels.
Yes, I guess… By thinking about his death so obsessionally, I was actually praying for his death, which, probably, was not very good for me! By picturing him bleeding to death on a sidewalk, I was actually sending some really negative energies into the Universe, and in turn these energies would come back to me. That’s the Rule of Three, the Law of Return, told by the Wiccans.
Unknowingly, I was preparing a car accident for myself, or something to that effect.
“What should I do, then?”, I asked the Angels.
There was no chance in heaven that I would back down. What was happening was unfair. This professor was trying to sabotage my career and I knew he certainly had the power to do that, and I wanted to defend my rights. I had worked and sacrificed so much for my position, I couldn’t let him do that to me.
So what could I do?
“Listen!”, said the Angels, “What you really, really want is to be freed from him for good! Understand that he doesn’t have to die for this to happen! There is another way.”
Yes, I understood. It was wrong to wish him dead. I didn’t feel any shame or remorse, though, in my opinion he deserved it, but I understood it was wrong for me to make a kind of life/death decisions for another person. It was between God and his Soul to decide when it is the right time for him to pass.
I also understood that by wishing him dead I was hurting myself more than him and that I had to stop.
“What should I do then?”, I asked the Angels.
“Call back all the negative energy you spread out! Don’t send any more negative energy out. Pray for Peace between him and you.”
I could see a vision of me and him in a kind of middle-age joust tournament with our swords and lances ready to fight, except that I now leave the field so, there he is, alone, fighting against thin air, getting exhausted for nothing, while the spectators have long left the field as well.
I could feel some kind of energy coming back to me, as if I suddenly retracted my tentacles. [I don’t have tentacles, it’s just how it felt]
“Wish him a good life!”, said the Angels.
I force myself to pray: “I wish you all the best in the world, far away from me. I wish for Peace between us and I don’t want to have any contact with you again.”
The Angels said the next time I would see him, he would be cordial and respectful and that he, also, didn’t particularly want to see me or speak to me.
The next days, every time I was thinking about murder again, I obliged myself to pause and wish him all the best in the world, far away from me, and a good health. I did not send any emails or speak about this situation to anyone. I left it to God.
Soon things turned around. Our colleagues started to understand how unreasonable this guy was. They started to see the situation from my perspective. My boss came to me and said there was no way he was going to fire me just because this guy is upset with me. My future boss spoke to him to calm things down. The editor of the journal came to the conclusion that my professor shouldn’t have exclude me for the paper, since these were my data, and my name was added on the publication.
The next time I saw him was during a big conference, and even if he greeted me very coldly, at least he didn’t come screaming to my face like he used to and we manage to avoid each other quite well. One year later, we met again at another conference and he came to me to tell me how impressed he was with my recent work. Who would have thought? I knew right then that the bad blood between us was cleared and that I was completely freed from him, karma and all.
And as far as I know, he is still alive and working, today, as it was supposed to be, I guess.
I still wonder: Who send the bubble?
Was it his Angels, maybe? They knew, perhaps, that the feud would only end if I decided to stop it, since he was so unreasonable and stubborn.
Or maybe it was some other Angels? some kind of guardian of Peace? Maybe our feud was taking some dramatic proportions and had repercussions in the subtle world and we really needed to stop.
What do you think?
What I now know is that Angels can help us healing any toxic relationships. They are our best advisors in time like this. So, call upon them to get out of bad situations before it escalates into something you don’t want.
Sending you Love & Light,
Gretta 😘